So here's a little thing you may not know about me- besides an extremely brief dalliance in second year of uni with a pair of grey skinnies that were about 2 sizes too big for me- I haven't worn a pair of jeans since 2007. In fact, I don't even own any. I wear skirts & dresses every single day & for every single occasion. Most people I talk to find that strange, and I suppose it is a bit.
Here's the thing though- I want to wear jeans. Until recently I always thought that they didn't suit me, because, if I'm honest, I thought I was too fat for trousers. Reading that back it is clearly extremely crazy, but that was always how I felt. Now that I am a bit older & hopefully a bit wiser (& saner), I am much less hard on myself and much more confident in general, & so today, as I was holding a really beautiful gold top from the Mango sale that I really wanted to buy but didn't have any jeans to go with, I realised it was about bloody time I bought myself a god damn pair of jeans. So I did. In fact, I bought two pairs.
I bought these blue jeans for £18 from Dunnes (which is, as far as I'm aware, an Ireland-only chain of shops, soz). Not exactly a massive purchase, I know, but I didn't want to spend a fortune in case I decide in a week's time that skinny jeans are not for me, but I'm happy with them for now, and it's nice to have something that I can team with flats & tees for everyday wear. Plus a big draw for jeans is that I don't have to worry about my skirt blowing up, which in windy & rainy Northern Ireland is a very real fear.
I also overcame another hang-up today, as my second pair of jeans, (black, regular cut, straight leg, I didn't get pictures of those on as the light was fading in my flat- I will soon though), were from Evans. I have always baulked at shopping in Evans because for some reason I was ashamed to own clothes from a shop that was for plus-sized women. I KNOW, CRAZY. I think as I start to get older (I'm 26 in like, 2 months... so weird) I'm more accepting of my body just the way it is. It's horrible & quite frankly, ridiculous, to go through your teens and early 20s so horrified by your own body that I wish I could go back in time & give myself a good slap. Or maybe a hug. Probably both. Such is our society though- it's only through educating myself more about feminism & becoming more aware of media pressure as I've gotten older that I've learned to try not to give as much of a rat's ass what magazines say or what society thinks of women who are fat & just be myself. I've still got work to do, obv, & I can't imagine myself ever wearing a bikini for example, but I'm definitely feeling more self assured as I approach my late twenties & that's enough for me.